Sundries Sunday

I guess I could start by explaining my title of Sundries Sunday. For the second time in the short life span of this cell phone of mine, I have lost a blue tooth headset. This time only less than a week after purchasing it. For some reason this threw me into a complete fit of rage. I'm not sure why this happened but it made me completely angry. In addition, this is not the first time something like this has happened to me. Over the summer my ATM card got stuck in the machine and i was LIVID. This was not as extreme because i knew it was only an accessory but its a huge inconvenience and its something i really was attached to. However, i reacted the same way, both times it completely puzzled me.
I've always been very secure about my money, I wouldn't call myself cheap, I'm a conservative spender, I like my money in my pocket not someone elses. I think that was what bothered me about losing my atm card was that I did not have access to my money, not that anyone else did and not that I wouldnt see it again. This was a similar feeling and to tell the truth, i didnt even spend my money on the dang thing. I really dont know what I was so angry about.
Other than that today was for the most part an uneventful day. Woke up, ate breakfast, went to long island to see my girlfriend, went to the mall with her, went to the pet store to look for a puppy, then to her family Christmas party and then home. My mom didnt cause me any angst today, I wasnt in the house all day, except for one small thing with the search for the headset, she told me i needed to take better care of my things. Like i really gave a shit about that at the time i just wanted to find the damn headset. I didnt need to be taught a lesson at that point in time.
Anyway, I head back to school tomorrow morning, and once again I'm completely unmotivated to work and guess what, I have alot to do in the next 48-72 hours. Things like this frustrate me because i say to myself i want to do a thorough job and i never do. I just give up. I think there is something wrong. I do the bare minimum, even when i dont want to. Sometimes I think i'm not always capable of higher thinking and more complex concepts, but i sometimes manage to make people think that I am. I do well in school, don't get me wrong, but sometimes i dont know how. I question alot of my abilities sometimes. I always have. I've always been average, never, outstanding, never awful and that worries me. What kind of success does someone average have in life? Average amounts. I dont like that.

"The dictionary is the only place that success comes before work" ~Vince Lombardi
Goodnight