Frustrated Friday

As I knew it would, taking the overwhelming majority of the day off yesterday proved to be detrimental. Today I woke up, went to get something to eat, to target with one of my suite mates to get a case of water and then came back and started to sit and play video games until i realized i HAD to do work. After a brief stint back on the couch i realized i had to sit down and start to be productive.
At this point i sat down to the half ass outline that i had attempted to create the night before. The outline upon further reading of the question proved to be completely useless. I went back to the drawing board and started to look through the book that i was supposed to have read. I felt like i was looking for a needle in the hay stack but the question appeared to completely lend itself to the text. However, it would only be luck that something distracted me. The words seemed to blending together, and the same line was read over and over again. The even slightest thought of any minute detail of life would launch me into a tailspin of daydream. I didnt think anything would ever get accomplished
I called my girlfriend, unfortunately yelled at her because i was so frustrated but i felt awful. Even if she was mad at me, she somehow managed to calm me down and I was able to produce a solid amount of quality work.
I dont know if the motivation was to get things done so my girlfriend can come on Sunday or because i care that i need to do well. The frightening reality is that the main motivation was so i could spend time with her. I guess what ever it takes.
I dont know why i was so frustrated that i couldnt get anything done . Sometimes things that really shouldnt get to me to, it was a similar feeling of irrationality that just boiled me over and fueled my frustration.
On another note, my girlfriend went out to a bar with some of her friends. She asked me if it was okay if she could dance with other guys, i saw no objection, i trust her completely. She came home and told me that she felt bad about doing it even if i said it was okay. Does that make me look like i dont care? I hope not. I dont think it does.
I think trust is one of the foundations for a good relationship. I'm no Dr. Phil but i do know that my girlfriend and I established a level trust very early and thing just built upon that. Comfort, knowledge of each other, sexual activites amongst im sure many other small things.
Jealous boyfriends have a sense of insecurity to them, thats why they are jealous. They are not secure in themselves and are worried that someone might offer their girlfriend something that they cant. With my girlfriend I'm not worried about that. I'm comfortable in my own skin around her and we trust each other. I have no need to be insecure that someone else can offer my girlfriend something that i cant.
I think that my ability to trust her outweighs the possible perception that i dont care what she does.
She had a good time even though she felt guilty about dancing with other guys. I'm glad she did, we had a little bit of a rough week. She deserved to have a good time. I think we are at the light on the other side of the tunnel. I think its only natural that serious couples go through weeks like this. In order to prove to yourselves that you are meant to be and that your love will in fact stand the test of time, couples need to go through periods of time like this.
The way things always work out never ceases to amaze me.

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved"
~George MacDonald

Goodnight